Dissolved

With how long I’ve worn my heart on my sleeve,

I’m surprised to sense my spirit still kickin’, stayin’ alive.

Suspected hope was becoming worn down and tired,

Rumbled from sleep after dreams were constantly humbled,

Found an opening, bled out, and got up to leave.

So you understand why sometimes I’m scared to say that…

I missed you, in case you misuse

My emotions, the commotion that clouds

My head, wrestling, twisting with the road ahead.

You abuse the power that now swells your mind,

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely,

Vesuvius erupts, ruptures this connection completely,

A Roman Pompeii covered in negative energy,

Twisted love you see, you influence all of me.

And I understand the game, yet that only makes it worse,

That I know you need to be suspended into suspense,

Slowly, without seeing it coming, make it exciting,

Senses acute, hearing, touching, sights frightening,

Running away to give me an opportunity to give chase.

Two type A personalities crashed together, face to face,

Found that games couldn’t B part of their case.

Fuck it, my maturity finally reached a critical point,

Found the bugs, overwrote my insecurities,

A new code programmed for how to live life,

To say what you mean, mean what you say too,

Even if in these tense tenuous moments,

These sayings have to extend into the nether, be mean,

Cause I only got one go at this, it was not meant to be facetious,

Becoming true to who I am, I let reality crowd around.

For how could I call myself a friend if,

I strayed from laying out the truth;

A partner without capital invested?

A lover with conditional devotion?

In order to see this problem solved,

I would need to dip my ego into solvent,

See its atoms come apart, become dissolved.